Never Let a Toddler Choose His Lunch


I’m sat on the stairs, being a human stair gate for Noodles, whose decided he wants to play on the landing as opposed to all the other proper room options in the house. Still, it gives me a chance to catch up on the emails I haven’t looked at since Friday. How much junk mail can one email account take? I can’t remember the last time I got a proper email, from an actual person about anything other than discounts on stuff I don’t want/really really want but still can’t afford despite the discount.

Finally – hurrah! – Noodles gets tired by the limited options for play that doesn’t involve falling down the stairs/through the bannister posts (which how my worst-case scenario mum mind works).

Noodles: What’cha doin’, Mumma?

Me: Being a multi-tasking stair gate, sweetie. Now, shall we go downstairs and have some lunch?

Noodles: Yaaaaay!!!

(Nowhere else in the family would such a mundane offer be met with such enthusiasm. At what age does such joie de vivre get drummed out of us?)

Me: What would you like for lunch? How about a san…

Noodles: Ice cream!

Me: …sandwich and cuetator [sic]?

Noodles: Ice cream!

Me: Or a scrambledy eggy? With toast? You love scrambledy eggy!

(Or at least he did last week.)

Noodles: Ice cream!

After a further five minutes of trying to convince him that something savoury might be a better option for lunch I relent.

One bowl of ice cream served up to one surely-to-be-overjoyed son (oh, yes, Mumma has got to be the preferred parent). Noodles takes one look at the bowl:

Noodles: Sam-ich and cuetator?

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to be a human dustbin to a melting bowl of ice cream.


10 thoughts on “Never Let a Toddler Choose His Lunch”

  1. She Could do that. I was just privy to a recent funny food she created! Love this because you were not the human barrier at the bottom of the steps! You were the gateway to paradise. Cue Led Zeppelin “Stairway to Heaven.” Nice slice of life moment with classic ending!

    1. Very clever, Steph. I think I may chance my name by deedpoll, or at least have add it to my email signature. ‘Gateway to Paradise.’ Mind you, it might elicit some rather odd email correspondence…although compared with the dreary dross I mostly get, it might make an interesting change.

  2. That’s the best. It’s finals week and I’m at a night exam, so I’m sure my children had ice cream for dinner. And enjoyed it. And that’s okay.

    Thanks for your supportive comment on my post earlier today.

    1. Overall he seems to prefer more normal lunches so I don’t think a rare ice cream lunch is going to hurt.
      Mind you, I think he’d happily sell my soul for a bag of chocolate buttons…

      I hope you’re feeling more fortified today. My heart really went out to you yesterday when I read your post. X

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