Dream Home #1: If I Lived Alone

God, I love my job! Lovely people, really friendly clients and books chock full of amazing properties. I am easily won over by a character property (which is just as well as my own house wouldn’t know a right angle if a set square were to introduce itself) and I could picture myself in just about any property on our books.

And so I introduce to you my very own Property of the Fortnight. I’ll have you wanting to live in Norfolk by the end of the year.

Hampton Court


Living in a house teaming with people and their stuff and stuff inherited from people now dead so attached with feelings of guilt if chucked out and then more stuff for good measure, I have a dream of living alone. Obviously not until Boo and Noodles are all grown up and have gone off to university or whatever makes grown-up kids move out. Husband is more of a contentious issue. I could probably cope quite well without him and would relish being master of both the remote and the duvet. He wants to retire to France anyway. My French is rubbish and I’d just get fat(ter) on all the croissants and baguettes, so maybe it would be best if we split up amicably/stayed married but lived in different countries (is that a thing people do? It should be!) and I could just go and visit when I wanted a tan.

And so, into dotage, I would like to live here:


Just look at all that white. With plenty of sticky fingers around the house at the moment it’s not a look I could get away with right now, but I would love to. It’d be a cinch to clean and could look so feminine and full of vintage finds without anything nice instantly being broken by the unappreciative, clumsies of my family. And as it’s small and cute obviously I would have to visit them rather than them coming to me for things like Christmas (meaning that I could sit in front of the telly with a selection box rather than doing the cooking – see, I’ve thought it through).

Not big enough for family events, but perfect just for me.


Oh, to have sole use of the roll-top bath. No plastic toys here.


But then I wouldn’t have to worry about being lonely either. There’s a communal secret garden – ok, no nude sunbathing, but that’s not my thing anyway – perfect for catching up with the neighbours.


And it’s right close to where all the town’s best restaurants are situated.

I’d just have to hope the polar ice caps don’t melt as it’s right on the quay. Although, to be fair, if that happens all of us in Norfolk are literally sunk.

Oh my God, never before have I looked forward to zipping through the next 16 years. Definitely a dream home. I’m sold.



8 thoughts on “Dream Home #1: If I Lived Alone”

  1. Boy, give her a day or so on her own out in the world and she’s already plotting her future escape and hidden nest! Goodness. Glad for you though…..is nice when you can break out of the mold once and a while and see how the other half lives sans children, huh?

    1. There’ll be no ’empty nest syndrome’ for me. Eve brought me down to earth though: ‘it’s a shame you don’t get staff discount on the nice houses.’ Mmmm. I may have to play the lottery instead.

      1. No, no, no….these kids are your bank account/lottery ticket! You just raise them up right (with proper amounts of brainwashing and subliminal messages) and once they’re grown and gainfully employed you can follow up with things like, “Well, this house is sure small for the two of us (you and husband) here, I’d like to get away on my own but since I don’t have a place I’ll come stay with you for a while. And then…….VOILA! Instant dream home paid for by (now adult and monied) child……can you envision it?

  2. Congratulations on getting the job! I dream about a house of my own too, and I laughed when I saw that you were considering letting your husband move to another place 🙂 My husband and I do not agree on our dream places, so we joke about going our separate ways later on in life. I think I might miss him though. And I might even miss my kids, although I will love having no messes and no one saying they’re hungry all the time.

    1. Thank you.
      I think, separate lives on amicable terms is better than a lifetime of animosity and resentment. I think the biggest part of the dream though is, as you say, only having to tidy my own mess. At the moment I have a place for everything, but nothing in its place and it drives me insane.

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