An open letter to Mr Lucas…

…and the other drunks who think it’s ok to smash other people’s property because they themselves are smashed.

(Not so) Dear Mr Lucas

Last night I had two policemen knock on my door as I was going to bed. That’s not what you want on a Friday night. It certainly wasn’t what I wanted. Especially when the police told me that their knocking was because YOU had decided to knock my wing mirror off.

Why did you do that? Why?

For the same reason that other people have snapped off wing mirrors, kicked over bins, peed in doorways, shouted and sworn their way down the street and even walked over the top of a previous car. (There’s nothing quite like seeing footprints up the bonnet and onto the roof of your car. Whoever did that certainly beat YOU, Mr Lucas, in the originality stakes.) But, I suspect you all did it for the same reason: mindless drunkeness. Because there’s no logical reason to do stuff like that.

But what made YOU different, Mr Lucas, is that the police caught you.

So there I sat, at 1am, in my living room giving a statement in my dressing gown. The policeman in charge asked if I felt emotionally distressed at you vandalising my car. No, not distressed. But there’s no box to tick for ‘pissed off.’

There really should be a box for ‘pissed off’.

Although I suppose my night wasn’t any worse than yours. At least once the police left I was free to go to my own bed. I wasn’t sent to a cell ready to wake up to the mother of all hangovers.

No, instead I woke up to survey the mess.


It could have been worse. In the past it has been worse. At least the actual mirror is in tact, not to mention the wires. For now duct tape has stopped it from flapping, although it’s not a classy look.

Still, I was told that the police would talk to you and as you had already admitted your guilt, even though you were worse for wear, I’d at least be compensated for the cost of a new wing mirror. It’d still be a pain in the arse, but at least for once I wouldn’t be out of pocket just because you decided to vent some drunken frustration on my car.

At least that would be something.

But then the police called again this lunchtime. Over a terrible phone signal I found out that you had been in such a state last night that you couldn’t properly remember what you had done, but you had been intimidated and scared by being held in the cell for the night. You were remorseful.

That’s nice.

But it wasn’t much use to me. Because your remorse earned you a caution. Which meant that all I got was a crime number.

No recompense for you breaking my wing mirror.

I can claim through my insurance. But that is surely tantamount to me paying myself. Because if there’s anyone more crooked than the actual criminals it’s the insurance companies who will look for any loophole NOT to pay up and because a claim being made raises the premiums either way. Just as they did when a previous car partially melted by pure bad luck of parking it next to a car that caught/was set alight in the middle of the night. Even though I’ve changed insurance companies since then I’m still being screwed for that one. So, no, I WON’T be claiming for your actions.

Either way I’m shortchanged. You’ve got off scot free and I’m left to sort out the mess you left behind. How is that fair?

How does that demonstrate your remorsefulness? When I’ve (accidentally/drunkenly) broken somebody else’s property I’ve offered to pay for its replacement. You offered nothing. I’m put out because I own the car you chose to pick on. You just make your merry way home, nothing more than your tail between your legs and a story to recount on your next big night out.

Can the ‘pissed off’ box be changed to ‘really REALLY pissed off’? And then can I put a MASSIVE tick in it?

A broken wing mirror isn’t crime of the century, but the principle of of it has me riled. Meanwhile you probably think you dodged a bullet. Perhaps you’ve been out drinking to celebrate.

But maybe next time, before you see fit to kick somebody else’s property to bits, have some respect and don’t bother.

The Gluestick Mum


15 thoughts on “An open letter to Mr Lucas…”

    1. I doubt even the local paper would care. 😦 But thank you.
      I’ve had the song Class from Chicago The Musical stuck in my head since:

      Jesus Christ ain’t there no decency left?
      Nobody’s got no class.

    1. Thank you. Remorseful counts for zip if there’s no effort to put things right. By Saturday lunchtime, hangover aside, I bet he felt like the luckiest sod on the planet, whereas I was still fuming.

  1. Can’t believe you’ve got no way of claiming for the damage other than through your own insurance! Someone scratched the side of my car outside my house a couple of weeks ago but fortunately she knocked on the door to own up! Still a real pain and inconvenience!

    1. That was good of her! Although, yes, still a pain.
      Insurance companies are the biggest crooks of all. My sister knew someone whose very expensive, brand new sports car was stolen after a gang followed him home, broke into his house and chained him to the radiator. The insurance company claimed it wasn’t technically theft as he’d given them the keys! He was CHAINED TO THE RADIATOR!!! I wouldn’t have said it was entirely consensual.
      Which makes my little wing mirror story seem pretty petty in comparison. Although still annoying.

  2. That sucks!! Why should not remembering and ‘feeling remorse’ mean he doesn’t have to pay a cent?! I agree, send this to a paper.

    We had the running over the car thing recently…problem was it was my lovely mother-in-law’s car that I was borrowing. It wound up needing a new roof.

  3. This is just appalling. I’m so sorry it happened. Not sure what the police are for if they can’t make sure something like this is made right. -Amy

    1. It seemed like a no-brainer, didn’t it? Man gets caught for criminal damage, man pays. How naive of me.
      Ok, he hadn’t been caught before, but how much vandalism is caught? And it doesn’t make the situation right.
      It really doesn’t make sense.

  4. This is awful, what a quick way to run a day. People can be so thoughtless, even if he didn’t remember when he was told he should have offered to pay to have it fixed. People amaze me…

    1. The system amazes me too though. Even if he was let off with a caution he still did it – he admitted it – and it still needs to be fixed. So as I see it he should still pay. I’m not sure why I should be the one to pity him for his ‘problems’ and his hangover. If I smashed a wing mirror off a police car because I was frustrated and drunk I bet I wouldn’t be sent home with a caution.

  5. I really REALLY don’t get this. The police CAUGHT him in the act, if I am understanding your post correctly? And I think I am because you italicized the word “Caught.” So how can there be any different tale the next day???

    1. I know! It happens all the time down our street because it’s on the drinken drag from the train station into town. People stumble off the train, break stuff and then carry on for more drinks. Normally we just wake up to the damage.
      But this time it was the police who came knocking on my door, telling me they had the culprit. That NEVER happens. So I really thought this time would be different.
      I don’t know why. When they caught the tramp who smashed our window just before Christmas 2 years ago nothing happened either, other than the tramp getting a place to stay for Christmas. I’m all for people in society being helped, but the people left picking up the pieces from the cry for help get nothing. A) there needs to be better systems for people to get help and b) there needs to be more respect in the world. A broken wing mirror’s only a small thing, but it’s indicative of bigger issues.

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