For Once I Wish Husband Was Right


Do you believe in fairies? Husband apparently does. Especially of the sort that complete household chores whilst he sleeps. In this instance, it would be fabulous if he was right and they really do exist…but I’ve yet to meet anyone who has use of one. Yet I can think of no other way his mind couldn’t have connected last night’s conversation on the phone with the absence of milk in the fridge this morning:

Me: Are you passing Sainsbury’s?

Him: Eh?

Me: I need tinned tomatoes and milk. But Noodles was being a sod in town and Boo doesn’t feel well so Sainsbury’s was out of the question.

Him: Oh, but I’m at the end of the road. I’m a bit weighed down. I’ll just come home.*

(*Well, gee thanks for your help there, buddy. Especially when you were ‘weighed down’ with a rolled-up A3 paper poster – hardly equates to a thrashing toddler and a child who’d just declared that her tummy felt ‘funny…and not in a good way’ – and I only needed you to get TWO essential items, hardly a week’s worth of shopping. *Rolls eyes in despair* Still I didn’t have to eat the dry tomato-void pasta for tea. He brought that one on himself and luckily only Grandy had to suffer that one with him.)

Still, in light of our conversation (and the fact that I made the call and didn’t just dream it is definitely evidenced on my phone records:)…

(OK, him being George Clooney is a dream, but the conversation definitely happened.)

…I’m not sure why he was confused when he went to the fridge this morning.

Him: There doesn’t seem to be any milk in the fridge.

Me: No. Because you didn’t go to Sainsbury’s when I asked yesterday. It doesn’t re-fill itself you know.

Or maybe he really genuinely thinks it does!!!

In which case, perhaps, rather than luring girls into the Scouts, where they can learn about camping and fires and how to use a knife, we need to get boys into the Brownies/Guides, where on day one they learn that there’s no magic being to pick up after you – you have to pick your own shit up – and sometimes it’s nice to do someone a favour and pick their shit up too.**

(**I wasn’t ever actually in the Brownies, so that might not be the actual way they phrase it, but the sentiment’s the same.)

I’m sure the world would be a far happier place if boys learnt that lesson early on.


Or if I actually did get paid in jewellery and wine. Then I’d happily me everyone’s household fairy.


10 thoughts on “For Once I Wish Husband Was Right”

  1. My goodness….the life lessons these men need. I guess God in his infinite wisdom foresaw just this very thing and that’s why women were made so quickly after the man was put here, otherwise….Adam would probably still be sitting there waiting for the household fairy! Luckily, women also came with attitude so while we are the ones to get things done, we can also make great statements like “…there’s no magic being to pick up after you – you have to pick your own shit up – and sometimes it’s nice to do someone a favour and pick their shit up too.” Also very much enjoyed the line about the Brownies, “…that might not be the actual way they phrase it…” Made me LOL! Our poor Gluestick Mum…your trials are many….hang in there though…sooner or later you’ll get them all trained up or at least be able to buy one of those gorgeous houses for yourself to escape to without them!

    1. ‘I guess…that’s why women were made do quickly after man…otherwise Adam would still be sitting there waiting for the household fairy!’ LOLZ right back at you. That really made me chuckle. 🙂

      I think it’s best I never apply for a position in the Brownies.

      1. I don’t know if you should apply for the current Brownies, but perhaps there is need for new group to educate girls in REAL life (i.e. how to deal with helpless/unhelpful men…)

      2. Aw, but should we disillusion them so young?
        Mind you, Boo is already pretty clued up when it comes to her dad. ‘He’s useless, isn’t he?’ On second thoughts, maybe there is a call for it.

  2. Yup. In our house the males enjoy a cleaning fairy, a dishes fairy, a laundry fairy, and a meal fairy. Must be a nice world to live in. -Amy

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