The Wheels on the Bus

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The wheels on the bus go round and round.
Round and round. Round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round all day long.

The driver on the bus goes ‘No more room.’*
‘No more room. No more room.’
The driver on the bus goes ‘No more room,’ all day long.
(*’Unless you can single-handedly wrangle your toddler and fold up your buggy and lift it onto the luggage wrack that’s already filled with someone else’s suitcase.’)

The mum on the bus manages the impossible.
Manages the impossible. Manages the impossible.
The mum on the bus manages the impossible, whilst the driver pulls away.

The toddler on the bus goes chatter chatter chatter.
Chatter chatter chatter, chatter chatter chatter.
The toddler on the bus goes chatter chatter chatter and ‘WHEEEEEEEE!’ as we go over the bridge.

The oldies on the bus go ‘Tut tut tut.’
‘Tut tut tut. Tut tut tut.’
The oldies on the bus go ‘Tut tut tut,’ even though they ride for free.

The people on the bus all dash to get off.
Dash to get off. Dash to get off.
The people on the bus all dash to get off, but the buggy’s in the way.

The contents of the buggy spill onto the floor.
Onto the floor. All over the floor.
The contents of the buggy spill onto the
floor, whilst the toddler runs away.

The mum on the bus says ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry.’
‘Sorry sorry sorry. Sorry sorry sorry.’
The mum on the bus says ‘Sorry sorry sorry,’ all day long.

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16 thoughts on “The Wheels on the Bus”

  1. SO funny…except, I imaging it’s so NOT funny. I am truly in awe of moms who manage families in large cities. I thought dealing with three in car seats was murder, but public transportation? I think I’d be stuck in the house for the rest of my life, held hostage by children. -Amy

    1. Noodles just loves to ride the bus and I genuinely thought it would be easier than walking. But it was heaving – full of OAPs with their bus passes (I may have been the only person who had to pay to travel) and my heart sank when there were two people sat on the flip-down chairs in the buggy/wheelchair area. If it was a wheelchair they’d have had to move to the proper seats, but with a buggy it’s my tough luck to get on last. When it means Noodles is still toddling down the bus as we set off or with him free to escape whilst I get the buggy back it doesn’t really make sense to me.
      Although I love seeing Noodles glee at riding the bus I bloody hate it myself.

    1. I know an old woman who swallowed a fly is Boo’s absolute favourite rhyme. The British comedian Richard Herring did a brilliant analysis of it as part of his We’re All Going to Die tour. I’ll have to see if there are any web clips out there of it. According to him, it was suicide.

  2. My sister in law used to live in UK and she had two young ones, she said that the public transport system there was most unfriendly for people with children. Love your great sense of humour but I bet it was stressful at the time!

    1. It’s awful. Buses you can’t fit on, trains that are dirty and over-packed, underground stations you can’t access with a pushchair. And none of it’s cheap either.
      At least kids are only toddlers for a little while and all the hauling about helps bust the bingo wings. But how anyone in a wheelchair is meant to manage I don’t have a clue.
      It’s a shame though as an effective public transport system would make life better on so many levels. And kids, typically, love to ride on buses and planes.

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