There Was a Young Woman Who Swallowed a Lie

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There was a young woman who swallowed a lie.
An abject lie about her thighs.
Perhaps she’ll cry.

There was a young woman who read all the mags.
What a drag to read all the mags.
She read all the mags to quell the lie,
The abject lie about her thighs.
Perhaps she’ll cry.

There was a young woman who adopted each fad.
To feel more glad she adopted each fad.
She adopted each fad as she read all the mags.
What a drag to read all the mags.
She read all the mags as she swallowed the lie,
The abject lie about her thighs.
Perhaps she’ll cry.

There was a young woman who ate nothing but soup
Oh and bits of goop, but still mostly soup.
She ate the soup as she adopted each fad.
She adopted each fad as she read all the mags.
What a drag to read all the mags.
She read all the mags as she swallowed the lie,
The abject lie about her thighs.
Perhaps she’ll cry.

There was a young woman who ran every night.
What a sight as she ran every night.
She ran every night and ate nothing but soup.
She ate the soup as she adopted each fad.
She adopted each fad as she read all the mags.
What a drag to read all the mags.
She read all the mags as she swallowed the lie,
The abject lie about her thighs.
Perhaps she’ll cry.

There was a young woman who swallowed some pills
It made her ill to swallow the pills.
She swallowed the pills as she ran every night.
She ran every night and ate nothing but soup.
She ate the soup as she adopted each fad.
She adopted each fad as she read all the mags.
What a drag to read all the mags.
She read all the mags as she swallowed the lie,
The abject lie about her thighs.
Perhaps she’ll cry.

There was an old woman who realised
There never was anything wrong with her thighs.
She realised so stopped taking the pills.
Stopped taking the pills, no longer ran every night.
No longer ran every night and ate more than just soup.
More than just soup, no longer tied to the fads.
No longer tied to the fads she burned all the mags.
Wasn’t she glad to burn all the mags!
She burnt all the mags and spat out the lie,
The abject lie about her thighs,
And just bought a bigger size.

* * * * *

Thank you, Little Miss Menopause for inspiring this post.

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Sorry I didn’t manage to squeeze in Boom Boom, Ain’t It Great To Be Crazy.
LMM is a blogging genius and I’ll be keeping my fingers crossed for her at the upcoming BlogHer awards. This one’s for you, LMM.

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42 thoughts on “There Was a Young Woman Who Swallowed a Lie”

      1. Ha ha, thanks! Feels great to be back…let the blogging obsession recommence πŸ˜‰

    1. I have to admit, I am a sucker for them, but I see them as fantasy rather than as a lifestyle bible. It’s been a long long time since I had a thigh gap…and back then I was too busy wishing for the boobs that I didn’t have to appreciate what I did have.
      Besides, Marilyn Monroe didn’t have a thigh gap either and it didn’t do her any harm.

  1. FP! FP!! FRESHLY PRESSED! And I am not saying that because I suggested the song either! This goes above and beyond what I anticipated on SOOO many levels. Wow. Can it be a required campfire song for ages 8-13? I tell you… You’ve captured the grief women live with daily and I am no stranger to eating disorders and exercise obsessions. Please submit this to places that care about this grave issue. I sincerely hope this gets Freshly Pressed for many reasons. Wonderful work, GSM! Oh and “Boom boom, I hate the media for making me crazy!”

    1. Oh God! You may have given me another idea there!
      Thank you for your kind words. The 21st century could do with more current nursery rhymes.
      I’m just over the moon that you like it though.
      πŸ™‚

  2. This is completely FABULOUS!!! I LOVE IT!!! (And sorry I don’t know HOW I stopped following you— but in any case add me back on your list πŸ™‚ TERRIFIC POST!!!

  3. Reblogged this on Not a Day Over 45 and commented:
    After yesterday’s foray into self-loathing and complex body-image issues, this post from Gluestick Mum was exactly what I needed to hear! Worth a reblog. As a matter of fact, she wins my inaugural Award for Feminist Badass Poetry. She has won a free one year subscription to my blog. (You are welcome!)

  4. I totally enjoyed that … read it to my wife who totally enjoyed that … and expect to pass it along to my daughter who, I do hope, will totally enjoy it too. Thanks. D

  5. Very good work, GSM… Really made me smile, not least which because it is so very true! I’m still in the “eating the soup” phase of my eternal discontent and body dysmorphism. I’ll get there soon… bring on the bigger sizes! πŸ™‚

    1. Thank you, Mother Hen. I’m not very good at just eating soup myself, or exercising and I’m too wussy for diet pills. So I’m just left with discontent and self-loathing. Can’t wait for my moment of clarity.

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