Dream Homes #5: Cool in the Pool


Those of you with too much time on your hands astute enough will have noticed that I was missing a Property of the Fortnight post on Saturday.

This was mostly because very little property-related action happened despite being sat at my desk for four hours. Thunderstorms had knocked out our internet and with all of our systems being web based there wasn’t much we could do…

…except watch as a group of French performers set up a stage outside our door in preparation for a 2.30pm burlesque performance. As you do.


And there I was thinking Morris dancing clowns were scary!

Luckily a) I’d gone home by 2.30 and b) ‘burlesque’ to the French isn’t all nipple tassles and undulations. A friend ‘lucky’ enough to catch the show described it as ‘two blokes dicking about – all a bit weird really.’

Yeah, sounds like I missed a real treat there.

After the arduous morning we then had an evening of team celebration with a barbecue and Pimms at the bosses’ house. The morning’s clouds had given way to a beautiful blue sky. Great food, just the right amount of booze (I’m not vomiting on this boss’ cream carpet!), cute children running around, all the more lovely because they weren’t my children who a) are more prone to whinging/having complete meltdowns around strangers’ houses and b) would have ensured that I very much wouldn’t have relaxed. Infinitely wiser to leave them at home. Besides, it gave Husband a chance to catch up on some childcare duties, in lieu of his World Cup shenanigans.


The only thing that could have possibly made it an even more perfect evening would have been the use of a pool (except for the part about having to wear a swimming costume in front of colleagues). But it’s why this week’s property of the week (brought to you today because I’ve been catching up all day in the office) is:

The Willows


Not only is there a pool but this 5-bedroom property has wings, one of which dates back to the 18th century. Who wouldn’t want to refer to the east wing?


Plus there are more rooms than you could shake a stick at. A boot room to keep all the filthy footwear out of the way, utility room for hiding away the laundry mountain, music room room for (well, in our case) letting the very much non-musical children bash away at the piano without disturbing anyone else in the house, never mind the neighbours and a snug for hunkering down in, on top of all your normal rooms. Having tried to watch TV over the din of Noodles’ iPad game, Teddy’s happy squealing and Husband’s phone this evening a variety of bolt holes sounds like a genius idea to me.

Then there are other smaller features, such as the window seat in the master bedroom – surely an ideal reading nook?


And the his n hers sinks. Oh, to not have to deal with Husband’s stubble-in-the-toothpaste-blobs! They could all very much keep to his side.


And how could Boo and Noodles not absolutely adore the garden?


Even without the pool they’d be in raptures. With, for the two weeks of warm English summer, we’d be the best parents ever!

Mind you, we would also be guaranteed to be second home to all the neighbouring kids for the duration of those halcyon days.


Plus my grandma lives just across the road and she can be ‘variable’ at best. Living so very close by may not be the wisest of moves. (She’s taken to bursting on my aunt on more than one occasion to deliver some home truths in the past, and here she wouldn’t even have so much of a walk! And to be honest, people can say what they want about me behind my back, but I’m not so keen on hearing it for myself.)

Oh well, it looks like I’ll be sticking to the paddling pool in the back garden. But never mind. It still seems to go down well enough with the kids. I’m pretty sure occasionally I can still pull off best mum ever…if only because they’re not old enough yet to know better.



3 thoughts on “Dream Homes #5: Cool in the Pool”

  1. Ohhh…..so many lovely properties you’re highlighting….perhaps you should take up computer programming. You’re scratching your head wondering “Why the heck would I do this?” I know. But am thinking of divine plan! You take up programming, get a Saturday alone in the office, rework a few programs, find a great house you really want, and then voila! magically, your name appears on all pertinent ownership documents! (Note: You might, however, want to consider only properties with servants’ quarters thereby negating any responsibility to keep husband in same house. Also by establishing him in his own place, you will have place to send kids to on nights when you deem he is deserving!)

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