Roll up! Roll up!
Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come and wonder at the world’s most rubbish juggling act.
Watch as Gluestick Mum tries to juggle the balls of life. Blindfolded! With one hand tied behind her back! And with a small child clutched limpet-like to her leg! Observe as she stumbles and staggers through her daily routine.
See her strive to balance between work and family. Can such a feat be achieved without an overwhelming feeling of failure?
Gasp as she dashes from one place to the next with not enough time. Amaze at how she manages to let so many people down instead of pleasing them all. Marvel at how she takes on pressure from all-comers and buckles under their weight.
And that’s not all! Wonder at Teflon Man is doing as he lazes in bed and wanders into town rather than taking charge of the childcare. Be amazed at how he manages to repel any responsibility. Be in awe at the ability of a fully-grown man to still spit a dummy out of the pram.
The drama! The tension!
There will be sweat! There will be tears! Just how many balls will she drop? How many people will she manage to disappoint?
Just exactly how strong is that Lycra?!?!
Roll up! Roll up! This spectacle can’t last forever. Just watch out for tumbling balls!
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my yesterday. If it hasn’t been for my able assistant, Eve – who looks infinitely better in Lycra – I would have collapsed under the weight of life’s metaphorical collapsing circus tent. Here’s hoping the tricks end here.