Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here

Family life can be Hell, particularly when there’s sickness involved. Sharing personal space can be bad enough. Sharing that space with other people’s bodily fluids is always a step too far, no matter how much you love them.

Damn and blast them for putting ‘in sickness and in health’ into the marriage vows. Couldn’t we have had just one marital loophole?

Personally I make neither a good patient nor good nurse. Thus the family have suffered on more than one level this week.

I’ve had gale-force sneezes combined with a nose seemingly congested with acid. Grandy has been coughing and coughing and coughing some more. Poor Boo seems to have picked up a water infection and had not one but two accidents at school yesterday.

And then there was Noodles. He was still asleep in bed yesterday when I left for work. But then there was a text from Eve:


Scenes from The Shining sprang to mind. Would I likely come home to corridors of blood? Wrong film, as it turned out. A phone call next: Noodles was being sick. Ah, so not so much The Shining as The Exorcist.

Still, better out than in, as the next time I check on him he’s back to his usual self, having smashed two packets of crisps on the floor. Isn’t Calpol wonderful?

Just one person has been utterly unaffected by the torrent of germs: Teflon Man. But of course!

Meanwhile I’m contemplating dipping us all in Dettol and marking our front door with a big black cross. At least that way people can’t say they weren’t warned. Although if anyone wants to volunteer to come and dish up endless rounds of chicken soup it could just be what the doctor ordered.


7 thoughts on “Abandon All Hope, Ye Who Enter Here”

  1. UGH. That is terrible. Am sorry you have been plagued like this (I know very bad pun). Perhaps everyone is just getting it out of the way before winter and you will sail through winter with no ailments at all? Perhaps Teflon Man (being obviously immune to these ailments) should be schooled as a nursemaid?

  2. P.S. Have absolutely been missing you on here! (Also, I know a good painter, so if it comes to it, don’t wear yourself out painting that black cross on front door yourself…we can get it done for free!)

    1. I’ve missed coming on here. But there’s not a lot of inspiration to be had in work, kids, eat, sleep. Must try harder.
      Thank you for the offer of someone to paint the X on my door. There is a snag though: the door is already black, so the exercise may be a futile one. However, the rest of my house could do with a good lick of paint…)

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