Gluestick Awards 2014

2014 is nearly done. And, as the Quiz of the Year type things on TV/in the papers keep reminding me, I remember almost none of it. But then, until they show the news on CBeebies that’s largely the way things will remain.

Still, we were very definitely on board with the whole Frozen and Loomz things. Boo is more than happy to jump on a bandwagon as it rolls on by. The Ice Bucket Challenge passed me by though (at the time I didn’t know whether to be relieved or to feel offended that I hadn’t been nominated) as did having a thigh gap. In hindsight, maybe there was a correlation. After all, who wants to watch a non-celeb with thighs that touch (not to mention muffin top and double chin) wear not many clothes and get doused in cold water?

But, whether for the history books 2014 is remembered for Ebola or Isis or George Clooney getting married, for me, it will be the year that WordPress opened my eyes to blogging and it wouldn’t have been the same without you. And not just the relief at having people laugh at the absurdities of my life (although I shall probably use it in my defence in court/as they try to commit me one day: ‘But they agree with me, m’lord! I’m not insane, but quite justified…’). But also to seeing the world through others’ eyes, be they the beautiful refraction of West 517, the ever-punny Little Miss Menopause, the nod-laugh-nod-laugh of Lifeloveanddirtydishes and Louisa Simmonds, awe-inspiring awesomeness of Surgery at Tiffany’s, heavenly creatures from Katie MorningStar or the views of The Dancing Professor who broadens my understanding of worlds both ancient and modern and also provides goats. 2014 has been a better year for discovering them and more.

But I wouldn’t be here without my crazy, frustrating, funny family. And thus I would like to thank them for the past year with the inaugural Gluestick Awards.

Best Newcomer: Teddy

The starting point of the whole blog. Nobody else could possibly come close in such a category.

Prize for Cinematography: Indy

Hopefully in 2015 she’ll realign my old iPhone to her Cloud. In the meantime I keep receiving her photos on my feed. There hasn’t literally been a picture of her gazing at her navel yet, but it’s surely only a matter of time!

Best Dressed: Indy

However, she’s a student, so should surely be stepping away from the changing rooms of posh shops. At least until she’s not inadvertently sending me dressing room selfies.

Award for Hair & Make-Up: Eve and Indy

Indy’s eyes and Eve’s lips both seem to have been drawn by Disney animators. It’s not fair.

Best Acting in a Dramatic Role: Noodles

Particularly commendable for the Tantrum Trilogy: Tantrum in a Supermarket, Tantrum in a Café and Tantrum So Loud at Home It Could Be Heard Down the Street.

Best Supportive Role: Eve

Not only is she a great helping hand, her hands are also beautiful.
Whereas Teflon Man and Grandy will grumble and snipe, Eve is the one person who will accept a situation for what it is and get on with it. Although she may well be grumbling and sniping about it on her phone that’s perma-attached to her hand. Still, it’s a deserved win for not making me feel perpetually guilty. Without her, my life would be a mess.

Best Song: Frozen soundtrack, performed in the car by Noodles and Boo.

With it being the soundtrack of choice in the car, 2014 saw many repeat performances, but to see Noodles throw his arms in the air as he sang ‘love is an open dooooorrrrr!’ was (just about) worth the onset of insanity. (Sadly, though, no pictures of this exist as it only happens when strapped in the car and driving at speed. #NotAGoodTimeForPhotography)

Best Performance in a Foreign Language: Boo
Yep, we’re still giggling about ‘sechs‘. Sehr gut, Boo.

Blue Sky Award for Creative Thinking: Boo

Whether arguing why it’s best to only ask for lots of small presents for Christmas (‘because then you’ll not lose everything if you’re just a bit naughty and probably won’t even notice’) or why being a panto actor has to be the best job in the world (‘you only have to work during December and get the rest of the year off’) you can’t argue with her thinking.

Lifetime Achievement in Suffering Award: Grandy

Ok, he grumbles and snipes (and still does the thing he used to do when we were kids of singing/humming after he’s just sworn under his breath to cover it up). But he’s still remarkable. When others his age are retired he’s still working, but then the alternative of being perpetually around small children is probably enough to keep him in work forever. I can’t say I blame him!

Golden Raspberry: Teflon Man
He nearly redeemed himself with the best Christmas present ever: membership to the V&A in London (which I’m guessing comes with permission to go to London as much as I like…although that remains to be seen). BUT, the house is still falling down, he’s the only one still suffering from the Christmas lurgy and there was the incident of the green plastic ring that very much wasn’t a Pandora bracelet. Thus the raspberry belongs to him.

Without them all though I wouldn’t have half as much to write about. And without you reading I’d have lost the will to keep it up. So thank you.

Happy new year! Here’s to a fantastic 2015!

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