2015 Predictions

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Not literally 2015 predictions – that’d be going some! – but predictions for the Gluestick family for the next 12 months:

January

Noodles starts nursery. There are tears (his and mine…and possibly his key worker’s).

Work begins on the kitchen roof. This costs more and takes longer than predicted. Teflon Man becomes increasingly grumpy. The windows that need replacing and rendering that needs doing remain not done.

Another bit of the house also starts to fall down.

January 26th is officially nominated as Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year. Which just happens to be my 40th birthday. How dare other people jump on board my misery?! Celebrations end up being a bit blah and weepy rather than epic, what with everyone still being broke from Christmas and holding onto new year’s resolutions by their fingertips. Meanwhile I spend money on face cream.

February

Eve and Indy turn 20. Their combined age is now the same as mine. I weep.

March

The V&A wedding dress exhibition comes to a close. Despite having museum membership I still won’t have seen it.

April

My passport has expired but a) the cost of renewal and b) the fact that my passport photos are always depressingly and embarrassingly awful means I put it off for as long as possible. (Same thing in 2014 means that I still need to renew my driving licence.) Teflon Man makes noises about actually going on holiday this year, so I have new photos taken. They are awful. And now adorn both my passport and my driving licence. I buy more face cream.

May

The UK takes to the polling stations to vote in the general elections. Well, some of it does. The party I vote for don’t get anywhere.

Teflon Man frets about potentially losing his job.

June

The UK sees an unprecedented heatwave…

July

…The heatwave lasts until the day before the schools break up for the summer holiday. It then rains solidly for 6 weeks.

Teflon Man turns 50. He celebrates somewhere abroad. Without me.

I write a witty post about body issues by coming up with a nursery rhyme for the 21st century. It ticks many of the boxes
favoured by Freshly Pressed selectors. It fails to get Freshly Pressed. Oh wait, that was last year.

August

The roof is still on-going. As a result there is no holiday. Again.

September

School term starts. There is an unprecedented heatwave.

October

Indy starts her final year at university. There is a last-minute panic about where she’s going to live. She spends her deposit on new clothes and nail varnish. She ‘borrows’ her deposit from Teflon Man and forgets to pay it back. Teflon Man nags me about it. Incessantly.

November

The roof finally gets fixed. The oven stops working the day after Black Friday.

December

The month is the taken up juggling work with Christmas-related events. I spend too much money and eat too much food.

The kitchen roof starts to leak again.

New Year’s Eve is a bust.

Now, some might call me a pessimist. I’d prefer it if I’m wrong and by this time next year little to none of it has come true and instead the house is completely fixed, Teflon Man is given a promotion (which handily sees him travelling a lot) and we win the lottery.

I guess only time will tell, but that’s part of the fun, right? And worst comes to the worst I have some fodder for my blog. (Someone reassure me that perfection is just dull!) and in the meantime, I wish you a happy, prosperous and blog-inspiring year!

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11 thoughts on “2015 Predictions”

  1. January: Friday the 23rd is my 39th – we’ll celebrate the weekend together! March: I know exactly what you mean. I miss so many gorgeous exhibits, and I am also a member of the PMA. Life is so busy. April: the DMV promised me online renewal of the license last month, which turned out to be… filling out an online form that resulted in a letter arriving at my home telling me to go to DMV in January to renew. So not exactly brilliantly done.

    And yes, perfection is dull. Please continue having a gloriously flawed life like the rest of us 🙂

    1. As a friend has stepped with plans for several shades of fabulous so I’m getting more excited by the birthday thing. I shall just bury my head to the concept of getting older.
      My photo ID, I’m convinced, will still argue back at me.

  2. Oooh, here’s an idea: Make the re-roofing a fun family project. Just imagine how many great blog posts you could get out of that!

    Seriously, though, here’s hoping the year starts off with an absolutely smashing birthday at the end of this (OMG it’s actually January now!) month.

    1. Oh, there would be definite blogging mileage in getting the family up on the roof. Mind you, the patchwork mess of our utility room roof is thanks to my dad trying to DIY something up there and essentially falling off, taking various bits of the roof with him. And, tbh, i’m not sure my Girl Guide knot skills are adequate to lasso Noodles up there.

      Thankfully the birthday plans are coming along to the extent I’m now actually excited! Better get my photo ID sorted BEFORE the shenanigans rather than after.

  3. I’d love to reassure you that perfection is dull, but since I’ve never seen perfection, I can’t tell you! :0 However, I do know that you’re apparently setting the bar low this year so perhaps it will be a year of total surprise for you! I hope there are many many happy surprises for you along the road of 2015!

    1. I think you may be right on both counts. The only time I’ve glimpsed perfection it’s been airbrushed or the rest of lots of money and a ban on chocolate (good for neither the body nor soft furnishings, but too good to give up – ho hum).
      I’m sure there will be good things too. And my gripes are very much first world problems too. But at least if the baseline is pessimism I’ll either be pleasantly surprised…or right!

    1. Things are harsh for post-Christmas Aquarians. Could I delay the age-change until the summer too?
      Mind you, I’m planning on year-round celebrations this year. Or at least let the big 4-0 be an excuse for a bucket list for my youth.

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