Not literally 2015 predictions – that’d be going some! – but predictions for the Gluestick family for the next 12 months:
Noodles starts nursery. There are tears (his and mine…and possibly his key worker’s).
Work begins on the kitchen roof. This costs more and takes longer than predicted. Teflon Man becomes increasingly grumpy. The windows that need replacing and rendering that needs doing remain not done.
Another bit of the house also starts to fall down.
January 26th is officially nominated as Blue Monday, the most depressing day of the year. Which just happens to be my 40th birthday. How dare other people jump on board my misery?! Celebrations end up being a bit blah and weepy rather than epic, what with everyone still being broke from Christmas and holding onto new year’s resolutions by their fingertips. Meanwhile I spend money on face cream.
Eve and Indy turn 20. Their combined age is now the same as mine. I weep.
The V&A wedding dress exhibition comes to a close. Despite having museum membership I still won’t have seen it.
My passport has expired but a) the cost of renewal and b) the fact that my passport photos are always depressingly and embarrassingly awful means I put it off for as long as possible. (Same thing in 2014 means that I still need to renew my driving licence.) Teflon Man makes noises about actually going on holiday this year, so I have new photos taken. They are awful. And now adorn both my passport and my driving licence. I buy more face cream.
The UK takes to the polling stations to vote in the general elections. Well, some of it does. The party I vote for don’t get anywhere.
Teflon Man frets about potentially losing his job.
The UK sees an unprecedented heatwave…
…The heatwave lasts until the day before the schools break up for the summer holiday. It then rains solidly for 6 weeks.
Teflon Man turns 50. He celebrates somewhere abroad. Without me.
I write a witty post about body issues by coming up with a nursery rhyme for the 21st century. It ticks many of the boxes
favoured by Freshly Pressed selectors. It fails to get Freshly Pressed. Oh wait, that was last year.
The roof is still on-going. As a result there is no holiday. Again.
School term starts. There is an unprecedented heatwave.
Indy starts her final year at university. There is a last-minute panic about where she’s going to live. She spends her deposit on new clothes and nail varnish. She ‘borrows’ her deposit from Teflon Man and forgets to pay it back. Teflon Man nags me about it. Incessantly.
The roof finally gets fixed. The oven stops working the day after Black Friday.
The month is the taken up juggling work with Christmas-related events. I spend too much money and eat too much food.
The kitchen roof starts to leak again.
New Year’s Eve is a bust.
Now, some might call me a pessimist. I’d prefer it if I’m wrong and by this time next year little to none of it has come true and instead the house is completely fixed, Teflon Man is given a promotion (which handily sees him travelling a lot) and we win the lottery.
I guess only time will tell, but that’s part of the fun, right? And worst comes to the worst I have some fodder for my blog. (Someone reassure me that perfection is just dull!) and in the meantime, I wish you a happy, prosperous and blog-inspiring year!