Philip Larkin Was Right…Now Blame Your Dad

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Surely one of the most enjoyable parts of the ongoing conflict commonly known as ‘marriage’ has to be identifying your child’s annoying traits as absolutely 100% being your partner’s fault.

When she wants to, Boo does a supreme line in sullen and morose.

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It’s actually earned her some decent money in terms of her modelling, but to live with is annoying as hell. 99% of the time it will be over something so utterly minor you want to spit feathers rather than offer sympathy.

But today I realised that it may not be her fault.

Teflon Man was home and at lunchtime complained that he didn’t feel well. I don’t really do compassion when it comes to the poorly.

‘Well, go to bed and have a nap,’ I suggested, not entirely empathetically, whilst wishing that he’d just bugger off and stop getting under my feet.

He didn’t. Instead he chose to sit on the sofa and fiddle with a lump in his neck that is probably just a lymph node, but that he’s fret over enough to get a radiology appointment for. I tried to ignore him, but glanced up as I felt his eyes bore into my soul*.

(*Or whatever shrivelled darkness I happen to have where my soul should be.)

And there it was: the look of Boo!

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And, apart from freaking me out quite a bit, it then made me so very happy as it’s a trait that can be directly pinned onto him!

Because, yes, as parents we do f*ck our kids up, but at least I know I’m not to blame for that one. It truly is all husband’s fault!

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