Philip Larkin Was Right…Now Blame Your Dad


Surely one of the most enjoyable parts of the ongoing conflict commonly known as ‘marriage’ has to be identifying your child’s annoying traits as absolutely 100% being your partner’s fault.

When she wants to, Boo does a supreme line in sullen and morose.


It’s actually earned her some decent money in terms of her modelling, but to live with is annoying as hell. 99% of the time it will be over something so utterly minor you want to spit feathers rather than offer sympathy.

But today I realised that it may not be her fault.

Teflon Man was home and at lunchtime complained that he didn’t feel well. I don’t really do compassion when it comes to the poorly.

‘Well, go to bed and have a nap,’ I suggested, not entirely empathetically, whilst wishing that he’d just bugger off and stop getting under my feet.

He didn’t. Instead he chose to sit on the sofa and fiddle with a lump in his neck that is probably just a lymph node, but that he’s fret over enough to get a radiology appointment for. I tried to ignore him, but glanced up as I felt his eyes bore into my soul*.

(*Or whatever shrivelled darkness I happen to have where my soul should be.)

And there it was: the look of Boo!


And, apart from freaking me out quite a bit, it then made me so very happy as it’s a trait that can be directly pinned onto him!

Because, yes, as parents we do f*ck our kids up, but at least I know I’m not to blame for that one. It truly is all husband’s fault!


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