Things to do with the twenty minutes whilst your DIY hair dye takes:
1) Clean the bathroom of all dye splatter. Wonder how you’re going to get it off the ceiling. Consider a job as a blood spatter forensics expert and ponder as to whether this could be deemed to be training.
2) Pluck your eyebrows. They haven’t been touched since Christmas Day after all and are clearly never going to become Delevingne-esque.
3) Paint your nails ready for your big night out tomorrow.
4) Half-heartedly wipe down the bathroom, get as far as plucking one eyebrow whilst contemplating your nails before being summoned by your 3-year-old, whose only been asleep for an hour, yet who now refuses to settle back to sleep a) because he has a cough and sore throat and b) because you smell funny from the hair dye. Become increasingly frantic about trying to get him to settle back down because you sense not only is your time up, but also the ‘bonus’ five minutes for excess grey hair. Wonder how long it could be left before your hair turns bright orange/falls out. Try to cuddle your child back to sleep with smearing hair dye over every available surface – walls, bedding, your child… Contemplate sacrificing the bedding
Thankfully Noodles did go back to sleep and even more amazingly he did so before I fell asleep too. And my hair hasn’t fallen out, although it’s dark, so I can’t vouch as to its non-oranginess. I’m already convinced it wasn’t the exact shade I used last time either. Why do I never make a note when I find a colour I like? But, yeah, bright orange wasn’t what I was aiming for, so here’s hoping I shan’t wake up tomorrow to discover a barnet the colour of carrots on my head.
I’d also better not forget to pluck that left eyebrow. Preferably before work!