1) It’s cold. And going out means going out into the cold, when rather sitting inside in the warm would be the go-to option. (Except, my house is cold also. But the cold makes me miserable and I don’t want to be miserable on my birthday.)
2) Plus, unless you’re a teenager or from Newcastle, it means you’re going to need a coat. Which then means carrying it around all night, which, frankly, is just a pain in the arse.
3) It’s possibly also rainy, which is not good for the hair on a night out. And you just know you’re going to leave your umbrella in a taxi.
4) As for snow: pffft. It snowed on my 30th birthday. I did go spectacularly arse-over-tit. Whilst carrying my birthday cake. Most of the time I love snow (or, at least, the thought of snow). But on my birthday it’s evil and not my friend.
5) Nice restaurants offer seasonal menus, which in January features such in-season delights as kale and Savoy cabbage. Firstly, such greens taste like old socks and secondly, I’m already feeling older than I’d like without a menu that encourages farting like an old woman.
6) Everyone’s still suffering from a post-Christmas hangover. Whether they’re physically hungover and having a dry January or financially, having maxed out the plastic over the festive season, asking friends to sacrifice all that frugality in favour of a night out can seem like a big ask.
7) The January sales don’t offer the best gift-buying options. Things you didn’t get at Christmas are now being handed over in gift bags and you know full well that they had 70% off. But the shops still aren’t offering normal goods, so what are you gonna do?
Reasons it’s GREAT to have a January birthday:
1) Everywhere has central heating rather than sodding air-con.
2) It’s an excuse to buy a new coat. The furry one I bought for my night out on Saturday was particularly lush.
3) It doesn’t always rain…
4) …Or snow. My 21st was just unlucky.
5) Body fat helps protect against the cold. Bring on dessert!
6) Abstinence is boring! You’re literally doing your friends a favour by giving them an excuse to break all the bleak January rules. Anyone who wants to be a killjoy can just stay away from the celebrations. Or be the designated driver. Either way you’re onto a winner.
7) You can get your party gear in the sales too! So why buy one coat when you can have two? Plus new shoes!
8) Friends are ace whatever time of year and celebrating is always fun.
To be fair, I’ve just had the best weekend! Dinner and cocktails with some fantastic friends last night…
…and then a BAFTA exhibition and 2 Michelin-starred dinner with Teflon Man in London today.
Which takes the edge off the bleakness of winter, as well as the whole getting older thing, to be fair.
Claire and DP, I hope you’ve had equally fabulous birthdays!