Why Having a January Birthday is Harsh…

This one’s in honour of my fellow blogging Aquarians The Dancing Professor at trophos.wordpress.com and Claire at Lifeloveanddirtydishes.

1) It’s cold. And going out means going out into the cold, when rather sitting inside in the warm would be the go-to option. (Except, my house is cold also. But the cold makes me miserable and I don’t want to be miserable on my birthday.)

2) Plus, unless you’re a teenager or from Newcastle, it means you’re going to need a coat. Which then means carrying it around all night, which, frankly, is just a pain in the arse.

3) It’s possibly also rainy, which is not good for the hair on a night out. And you just know you’re going to leave your umbrella in a taxi.

4) As for snow: pffft. It snowed on my 30th birthday. I did go spectacularly arse-over-tit. Whilst carrying my birthday cake. Most of the time I love snow (or, at least, the thought of snow). But on my birthday it’s evil and not my friend.

5) Nice restaurants offer seasonal menus, which in January features such in-season delights as kale and Savoy cabbage. Firstly, such greens taste like old socks and secondly, I’m already feeling older than I’d like without a menu that encourages farting like an old woman.

6) Everyone’s still suffering from a post-Christmas hangover. Whether they’re physically hungover and having a dry January or financially, having maxed out the plastic over the festive season, asking friends to sacrifice all that frugality in favour of a night out can seem like a big ask.

7) The January sales don’t offer the best gift-buying options. Things you didn’t get at Christmas are now being handed over in gift bags and you know full well that they had 70% off. But the shops still aren’t offering normal goods, so what are you gonna do?


Reasons it’s GREAT to have a January birthday:

1) Everywhere has central heating rather than sodding air-con.

2) It’s an excuse to buy a new coat. The furry one I bought for my night out on Saturday was particularly lush.

3) It doesn’t always rain…

4) …Or snow. My 21st was just unlucky.

5) Body fat helps protect against the cold. Bring on dessert!


6) Abstinence is boring! You’re literally doing your friends a favour by giving them an excuse to break all the bleak January rules. Anyone who wants to be a killjoy can just stay away from the celebrations. Or be the designated driver. Either way you’re onto a winner.


7) You can get your party gear in the sales too! So why buy one coat when you can have two? Plus new shoes!

8) Friends are ace whatever time of year and celebrating is always fun.

To be fair, I’ve just had the best weekend! Dinner and cocktails with some fantastic friends last night…


…and then a BAFTA exhibition and 2 Michelin-starred dinner with Teflon Man in London today.


Which takes the edge off the bleakness of winter, as well as the whole getting older thing, to be fair.

Claire and DP, I hope you’ve had equally fabulous birthdays!



19 thoughts on “Why Having a January Birthday is Harsh…”

  1. Happy birthday! Haha… I think there are pros and cons to every birthday month… Especially depending on where you are. Here in thailand january is the best month! Maybe you should plan a birthday trip to thailand for next year. Lol

  2. You censored the food here far more than you did on FB. I did not glimpse any old sock featured on your FB! Happiest of birthdays!! ps. Things you didn’t get at Christmas, presumably you no longer want anymore? Fickle…. 😉

    1. The food yesterday was AMAZING! A girl could easily get used to Michelin-starred dining (although maybe not jellied chicken consomme – I prefer my soup hot and wet, not cold and wobbly).
      Sadly the things I wanted at Christmas never feature in the January sales. They’re still on my wishlist. Sigh.

  3. Oh I love the pictures!! And YES to all the pros and cons (especially the house being too ****ing cold to make staying in seem nice). I’m happy to hear yours was lovely – I can’t complain about mine either (once we got past the faculty meeting and DMV visit, at least…) and margaritas were involved TWICE this weekend, so, yeah 🙂

  4. Happy birthday!! Im a January birthday too, but being in the Southern Hemisphere I have almost the opposite problems.
    Here’s my biggest issue…

    Friends: Merry Christmas!
    Me: Thanks, you too!

    New Years Day
    Friends: Happy New Year!
    Me: Thanks, you too!

    My birthday
    Friends: Happy birthday!!
    Me: Thanks, you…errr…thanks!

  5. Happy birthday! I’m glad you had a great time. At least your birthday is towards the end of the month so most people have probably fallen off the dry January wagon by then! My best friend from school’s birthday is on January 2 – not a good day for a birthday party! xx

  6. Yeah, I know. I have a friend whose birthday is 1st Jan. Who wants to party then?
    (And Christmas birthdays are suckish too, because everyone’s too wrapped up – pardon the pun – in Christmas. I apologise to Noodles for that in advance.)

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