Cryptic or Kryptonite?

Aka ‘A Face Palm and a Miracle’

What is it with Dettol cleansing wipes that is such anathema to the Gluestick family? I have packs of them dotted around the house at strategic points (kitchen, bathrooms, living room) ready at hand to tackle life’s sticky messes (which we seem to specialise in). And yet I seem to be the only person who ever uses them.


For example, today Teflon Man heated some soup in the microwave for lunch. Needless to say he didn’t cover it first (because that would mean an extra plate to wash up). Have you seen the effects of uncovered soup in a microwave? It ain’t pretty!


So, with the Dettol wipes out on the side in the kitchen – within arms reach of the microwave! – did Teflon Man clean up said mess? Pfffft. Did he heck! (His excuse being that there were children in the house that he was responsible for…although that responsibility didn’t seem to stop him from being on Facebook all afternoon. Tsk.)

Needless to say, that was my face palm moment.

So what is it about the wipes that makes it so hard for anyone to use them? Open, wipe up mess, chuck in bin. It’s hardly taxing, is it?

Or, do my family think that to touch one will make their fingers drop off? Is it the Gluestick Family equivalent of Kryptonite? Do the germ-killing powers render Gluestick members powerless to household tasks?

‘No, I’m talking about DETTOL!’

I just can’t explain it. Apart from laziness and a lack of respect for me that makes them think it’s ok for me to clean up after them. And they’re just not acceptable reasons.

But then today a miracle happened. Actually TWO miracles happened as firstly Eve made a cake from scratch. (This being the girl who only uses the oven to heat pizza.) She also, however, made a mess.


Me: You ARE going to clean that up, aren’t you?

Her: Oh. Absolutely. Err…how?

Ok, that may have been a second face palm.

But then, do you know what? She actually touched the Dettol wipes and used them. And her hands didn’t fall off and she didn’t shrivel up into a steaming heap on the floor and she didn’t faint with a lack of powers.

I know, Superman, it shocked me too.

And she cleaned up her mess.


And then she made buttercream and I haven’t dared look since.

But it happened.

Now just to train the rest of them.

NB Dettol have in no way had any input into this post. But if they would like to thank me with free products in recognition of my loyalty to their products – or, if they would like to bring in their experts to REALLY test their products on possibly the ULTIMATELY challenge of grime and germs – then that would be much appreciated. Just saying.


8 thoughts on “Cryptic or Kryptonite?”

  1. I like how you caught a picture of her actually using the wipe…..will be good to have that for evidence to others that it can happen and they will survive. However, am now suggesting that you send your family on a re-training course concerning their duties in house…..namely Teflon Man….though perhaps he believes he is exempt due to being provider of most inspired b-day gifts? Anyway, an idea to ponder….or wish for whichever the case may be. Do very much enjoy your wry sense of humour!

  2. We’re big on baby bum wipes here, the nice thick big ones that come in a box. I’ve discovered that they can clean up pretty much everything, even dried snot on a macrosuede sofa. People comment on why I have them when there’s no baby in nappies anymore, but I recommend them to everyone. Actually there might be a whole post in this!

    1. Oh, definitely! Baby wipes are the unsung heroes of inventions. The Pill? There are other options. The Internet? We’d still be happy with the phone if it didn’t exist. But cotton wool and water just doesn’t cut it compared with baby wipes. And, yup, I’ve used them on anything and everything too.

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