Poor Madonna’s bottom. 2015’s not exactly being kind. Not only was it exposed to the elements at the Grammys, but now it’s literally gone arse over tit at the Brits.
It doesn’t seem fair. For a 56-year-old bottom it’s treated her well and all she seems to do is abuse it.
Ok, her tumble off stage last night wasn’t intentional (possibly)…even if it came well-timed with the lyrics ‘I let down my guard, I fell into your arms’. Whoops. But combining a cape-malfunction with vertiginous stacked heels and stairs wasn’t going to end well.
Still, I’d bet her arse isn’t even feeling as sore as the dancer who yanked too hard on all that Armani fabric or the dresser who had maybe watched Fifty Shades of Grey a little too closely and had got a little over-enthusiastic with their knots. Either way, I’m betting they had their arses whipped last night too.
Still, I feel it would only be appropriate for the star to give her tush a little TLC. Envelope it in a pair of comfy big knickers perhaps, rather than cheese-grater g-strings; let it have a little rest rather flashing it to the paps at every opportunity.
Oh, and maybe next time, take advice from
The Incredibles’ Edna Mode: