In the UK (amongst other places) today is Mothers Day. Aka (in this house) as The Day of Disappointment. As I write this I’ve received 2 handmade cards (thanks to Noodles’ Nursey and Boo’s Brownies) a posey of flowers (Nursey again) a tea light holder (Brownies) a box of chocolates and a ‘paper holder’ (ie a piece of paper folded in half with chunks cut out and ‘Paper Holder’ written on it by Boo). Yep, that equates to everything I do all day.
Meanwhile Teflon Man is still in bed. It’s 11.30am.
Later we’re going for lunch with family. I already know Noodles is going to freak out at how overwhelming it all is and then lose his patience because he won’t want to sit at a table for two hours. So I’ll be the one chasing him around and getting the tuts from the other diners. I predict that at one point I will be in the loos with him whilst he gets a tantrum out of his system.
Mercifully some other people understand the mess that is family life. Sometimes they write books about it. Not Gina Ford and her ilk, mind, how only serve to fuel further feelings of maternal failure. But others. Thus, in case you’re having an equally shite Mothers Day (even if it’s not Mothers Day for you), I bring you my two favourites: Meet the Parents by Peter Bently and Sara Oglivie and Hickory Daquiri Dock by Tim Federle.
Meet the Parents is one of Boo’s favourite books ever. Because, yes, parents nag and moan and spoil the fun, but they’re also ‘sofas for putting your feet up, and dustbins for bits that you don’t want to eat up…’
Or Boo’s favourite page of all, ‘Dad is a horse…’
The illustrations are inspired. I definitely know how this mum feels:
Meanwhile, Hickory Daiquiri Dock understands that booze does make it better! Parenting and cocktails and no judgement! What a revelation!
My favourites: Ring Around the Rosé
And Bloody Mary Quite Contrary.
In the meantime, Pinterest has also been a revelation of truths:
And others having equally awkward parenting moments:
Ah, so my day might be shite, but at least I’m not alone.
Happy Mothers Day to all the mums out there. May you be appreciated always. Now pour yourself a drink.