Christ on a Bike!

Leaving work today I found this in my bike basket:


It’s not my birthday, it’s not in the handwriting of anyone I know and, as far as I could tell, my bike didn’t have any new scratches/parts missing to warrant an apology note. But my bike is quite cute, if you like beat-up-vintage. Maybe it was a fan note to my bike. A love letter from someone with a dull job and too much time on their hands. Which would have been a bit weird, but cute.


Instead it was this:



Okaaaay. Not cute; just weird.

Now, because my bike was the last on the rack, I don’t know if this was a serial drop (although that’s a handwritten card and not a cheap one either, so if someone’s seeking to convert the town’s cyclists that’s going to take some time and money. And I’m not sure Jesus lets you claim expenses, no matter how much you love Him). Or whether I was a targeted err target. In which case, does my bike cry out for religious conversion?


Or does Heaven just have some kick-arse cycle routes?

Although, in that case, why the Mini on the card? Is whoever also trying to convert us to the automotive? Is cycling one of the sins I should repent? I don’t remember Jesus mentioning cycling in the Bible.

Whatever. The one thing I should probably be converted to is driving to work!


9 thoughts on “Christ on a Bike!”

  1. All, right…I was trying to make a comment and it just disappeared into the ether. I hope that’s not some kind of freaky religious sign…

    Truly this is one of the funniest posts I’ve read for a long time. Can’t help but say that not only was that note creepy and weird, it was misguided and contained piss-poor theology.

    But I’m afraid I must tell you that your bike does, indeed, scream “HEATHEN.” It’s obviously going straight to hell. (?!?!?!)

    1. I thought you were meant to go to Hell in a handcart, not on a bicycle.
      I wonder how Jesus doesn’t get his robes tangled in the pedals. Maybe that’s why bikes need to repent.

  2. God-and-jesus people have a real hard-on for making sure everyone else agrees with them. Maybe they have a quota they need to fill before their respective gods are pleased enough with them to make things really nice for them once they’re dead?

    On a side note, if the Jehovah’s Witnesses ever knock on your door and offer you a copy of The Watchtower magazine, take it – it’s hilarious and ripe for blog material 😀

    1. I think I may have scared the local JWs away by mentioning my Grandma (she is one of them, but still they shudder). Some poor unsuspecting fools do occasionally knock on my door though. I’ll be sure to take a copy. I think the last one I saw had an article on why the Internet is evil…before a link to their webpage.

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